At the ripe old age of six, after continuously watching my two-year-old brother spill his sippy cup all over the dining room, I suggested that my mom invent a cup where juice can’t spill. Three years, and another two-year-old sibling later, such a cup existed. And thus began my long and conflicted relationship with million dollar idea’s being stolen out from under me. Every so often on facebook [follow me, here] I bear witness to the mushiest, lovey-doviest, most vomit-inducing exchanges between friends and their significant others. [Though I have to admit, usually these friends are just “friends” because if any of my actual friends did this they would instantly be reduced to “friends”. Indefinitely.] I used to complain about this to anyone who would listen and the best response I received was from my grandfather: well maybe they don’t have unlimited texting. Listen, folks, if you’re dating someone who is too cheap to text you, you can’t be wasting your time gallivanting around on social media. Trust me, you have bigger fish to fry.
Anyhoo, I’ve been saying now for years that we need an app for this. Like a facebook for lovers. Post pictures kissing each other, write on each others timelines, commemorate each damn month you’ve been dating but, since no one else could possibly care less, do it all on a private social media outlet. I really thought I had the next big idea here, all I needed to find was the token geeky tech friend to create the app for me. Imagine my despair when I find out about Between – an app that advertises itself as “a private space for couples”. Since it looks like I missed out on being a millionaire yet again, the least you can do it download the app. And next time you celebrate your three-month anniversary, please, don’t share it with me.